Posted by At 25 I fell in love and moved from my native England to the USA with my American husband. With a new baby about to arrive and no extended support system, reality hit hard. I sank into such depths that I didn’t recognize myself. I was lonely and very lost. How could I have known what I was undertaking? Love and youth are blind!
As we approach a new decade, the world is even smaller thanks to the web and travel bloggers! If you are contemplating a major move, read on now for some tough questions
So you think you are ready to move? To somewhere warmer, cheaper, more exciting. Somewhere across the country? Ok, people do that every day. Somewhere across the world? Hold on there! Do you know what that means? First things first! Do you know what it’s like to live in the new country of your choice? I mean really, really like? Have you done your research, considered all things practical? No matter how ready you feel you are, nothing beats experience. You cannot possibly predict how you will feel when you are living there day in, day out. The first few months, or maybe years, will make or break your desire to stay or go. Everyone I know who has made the move asked themselves over and over for several years: Would I be happier if I went back? Some did.
Therefore, the first rule of thumb is to leave all options open. Always be in a position where you can go back and not have to begin all over again. If it’s a disaster, or you realized it was a mistake, that’s fine! Just make sure you can go back without having to live with your grandma for the next five years. If you own a home, consider putting it into the hands of a leasing agent for a year or two, so you can gain income while you are on your new adventure. Store expensive appliances and furniture. If you decide to return, your home and your stuff will be waiting for you.
So let’s break it down. Whether you are moving at your corporation’s expense or pursuing your dream on your own tab, do all the research you can on the country of your choice. Try to find groups aimed at your nationality, for example, British living in America. Read travel blogs where the authors have lived in the country of your choice. Find supportive organizations, and of course, official websites for the country, and region that you are headed for.
Being an Expat is a life of highs and lows, a mix of the good and the bad. You will have fantastic experiences and see things you never thought you would see, and you will experience sadness and loneliness that can be challenging. If you have already made up your mind and are still moving, fantastic! But please read on anyway.
Statistics aside, what’s it really like to leave home and start over, a few thousand miles away? To answer this question, ask yourself what kind of person you are. Some honest truths are needed here. Are you out-going, naturally gregarious, and friendly? Are you shy, introvert, a home-body, who has a small circle of close-knit friends and family? Or, are you somewhere in between? Your personality type will play a large role in how well you manage the transitions. If you are an extrovert, it will be easier for you to fit in and assimilate. If you are shy and rely on your network for support and company, you could be in for a tough transition.
Assimilation is the key; you are fitting into another world, and you need to be accepted. You will be a novelty at first, but in order to survive, you will need to be able to adapt and function in a different culture with a different language. Even American and Australian can sound like different languages if you are moving from another English speaking country! You can’t use your favourite local slang if you want to be understood and what’s more, you will not understand theirs! Where you came from and your history will not be relevant anymore. What counts is how you fit into your new world today and in the future. Can you blend in, accept new work practices, customs, cultures, traditions, without being resentful? Will you have the time and money to visit family back home, who suddenly become the most important anchor in your life as you navigate through chaos?
Back to practicalities! Imagine you are moving to a different part of your home country. You need a new place to live, a new school for the kids, a new doctor, dentist, bank, your spouse needs to find a new job. You need new contacts and friends! It’s stressful! But you probably didn’t need a passport to go for that job interview and start the moving process. You spoke the same language as your real estate agent! Imagine this process in a foreign country! Everything will be different! That’s ok if you are on vacation, or even at your cottage in France, but making a permanent move is incredibly tough, and having a support system in place really helps. Having a family member, friend, or corporate support can make all the difference. A contact who can show you the ropes and teach you the basics will be a lifeline. Without these things, you will need a huge amount of resilience and positivity, combined with resourcefulness and great flexibility.
Life as an Expat is a rollercoaster ride. In order to live in a different country permanently, you will need to lose some of yourself. That person will not be the same, ever. You will go to work with people who grew up in a world very different from yours. You will miss family at Christmas and birthdays. Your family will miss you and the guilt will linger. Relationships may strain and your children will miss their grandparents. These are some of the harsh truths. But, if you make that move from small-town America to Munich or small-town England to Miami, you will experience a world of travel and culture that you could never have imagined. There will be many opportunities to meet unique people and create friendships with them. You will grow, and become stronger in many ways. You will become a true survivor. This will be passed down to your children, and to theirs, as they realize that the world is a place to explore and conquer. And one day, you may even write about your experiences! The key to success is to be flexible and realistic. Most of all, go where you will be happy. Life is too short not to!
